Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Empress Has No Clothes (or At Least the Wrong Ones)

In theory, running should involve an able body, decent shoes, and a place to go, right?

Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha … ::wipes tears:: Yeah, I thought that was funny too.

Some things are worth the price. Paying more for shoes I sort of get. Your feet are part of your toolbox, so it makes sense to support them.1 Going to a place where I was actually fitted was pretty awesome, and it did make a difference in my runs. Likewise, the sports bra was worth the investment.

As for the rest, I guess it’s a good thing I do most of my running in the dark. Right now, I tend to grab a random t-shirt or tank top2 and either a knit skort2 or a pair of shorts.3 That I have upgraded to socks specifically designated for running is a step up.4

Again, I’m seeing a distinct parallel between running and parenting.When I think about the things I bought for my kid when she was a baby, I would ditch about half to two-thirds of it in retrospect. This seems to me to be the same thing--there’s money to be made off my inexperience and insecurity.

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to feel the pressure the more I look and the more I read. I am also overwhelmed with my ignorance and budget constraints.5 At some point, I’m going to need a fellow Amazonian to take my hand in Target or somesuch and play What Not To Wear.6

Other thoughts while looking at women’s running clothing:

  • I know I’m a girl, but I like other colors besides pastels.
  • I know I’m a big girl, but I like other colors besides black.
  • Why are there no pockets on women’s clothing in general? Gah!

Because we all know, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you look good, right?

1 I won’t tell anybody that I spent my first two months running while wearing Reebok Freestyles. Except that I just did.
2 I have read in two separate places that wearing cotton raises one’s n00b quotient in the running world.
3 I won’t tell anybody that this is a pair of maternity shorts that I can’t seem to let go because they are so comfortable. Except that I just did.
4 That I got them in bulk from Costco is evidently a step down.
5 Wow! This is EXACTLY like parenting!
6 Sample dialogue: “Yes. No. Oh, HELL NO!