Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Baseline Thinking

Most Obvious Fact in the World: I am not an athlete.

Details: There is actually a physiological reason for why I don’t throw/kick/catch well. The upper half of my body (eye/ear/arm) is dominant on the right side. The lower half of my body is dominant on the left side.

Result: Watching me roller skate is hilarious.

Result: I am always picked last for organized sports.

Result: My playground activities were mostly pretend games. I loathed and feared P.E.

Defense Mechanism: Because I make so many mistakes, I tend to favor intellectual efforts over physical. I do those well.

Defense Mechanism: Because I do not do well at organized sports, I do not take the time to learn rules/scoring/stats/etc. even though there is an intellectual (and possibly interesting) pursuit to them.

Defense Mechanism: I am a self-proclaimed Nerd who looks down on Jocks because I expect to be rejected by them. (See above.)

Defense Mechanism: I participate in physical activities with great anxiety and only under duress. I do not consider them fun. I consider them work, and I do not expect to succeed. (Dancing does not count because that is “artistic.”) Many people have tried to give me “tips,” but this has happened so frequently without results and with embarrassment, that I am aggressively resistant. Aggressively. I’m not a Good Sport, and I don’t want to try. This is annoying. I know.

Irony: I have a daughter who seems to be having difficulties with physical activities. I see her using the same defense mechanisms that I do. I hurt for her.

Irony: Toward the end of my high school P.E. career, my teacher (whom I really liked, strangely enough) told me that she noticed I had the gait to become a decent runner. I wished I had been told this sooner.

Impossible Thing: I am trying to change my thinking. I am trying to run.