Monday, November 12, 2012

Managing Training and Dreams

Scrolling through my FB page, I ran across an entry from Slow Is the New Fast:

Teresa posted this and needs your encouragement: "I need to vent...and I am also looking for some encouragement. Have any of you have been where I am at at some point in your running career?? I'm at the beginning, have only done 1 5K on 10/27 and had to walk some of that due to asthma (you might have remembered me asking the asthma questions here before) but did have a great run and I was proud of
 myself but since then I have had a terrible bout of bronchitis (couple that with the asthma) and have not been able to run hardly at all. I feel so discouraged, like I just am not cut out to be a runner. Like I'm just too old (40) and this is too hard and why can't I run for even 2 miles without stopping! My goals of 1/2 marathons and even full marathons feel so daunting and unattainable. I get so down on myself and want to quit because I'm not instantly good or decent at this sport. I am supposed to run another 5K on Thanksgiving and have not trained at all due to illness since 10/27. Another 5K 12/9 too. Those times are just going to stink and I feel like why should I even bother. I feel like I need to start over with couch potato to 5K. Like all of the strides that I have made are just gone. I'm not trying to be a down, just feeling down about it."

Minus the bit about asthma, I could have written this, even down to the dates for the next races.

Trust me, I'm not giving up. Not by a long shot. It helps to know what by body is like cyclically, and rarely do things last forever.* Plus I've sunk money into clothing and race fees. Plus I've talked loudly about it. Plus I am hyper-aware that my daughter is watching me.

But I admit there are many Impossible Things Before Breakfast going on: I'm weeks away from my 42nd birthday. I am technically obese. I have never voluntarily participated in any sport until now. I still spend a good deal of my 5K time walking. But I'm still planning on hitting the pavement tomorrow morning at the buttcrack of dawn with my best effort. My bravery (or stupidity) is not in question here.

I'm not even questioning the size of my dreams. With effort, I think I can manage at least one full marathon before I'm 50.

But coming back to Earth, I really think I need to get my 5K distance at least solid running, right? Not fast, but solid. Then I can start stretching for the 10K ... then the 10 mile ... then half marathon ...

I think it's time to start back on the standard C25K training and see what happens.

* Managing infertility some six years ago can do that.