On Like Donkey Kong! #July100Miles

It's pretty evident that I'm a magpie for shiny things. I do stupid stuff for costumes, medals, bits of code in the form of badges, etc.

This time it's a belt buckle. How very Texas of me.

I had seen this pretty on my FB feed and tossed it on my page half-kidding. Running Momma called my bluff and signed up.

Challenge accepted. Because mutual pain.

This actually is a really good goal for next month. I don't have to go fast. I can even walk. I just need to be diligent--a minimum of 3.25 miles/day. That means I can really crank out a majority of Zombies, Run! Season 2 (no chases), and Mister has been making noise about evening family walks.

#July100Miles Are you in?

Back to Training

For good or ill, I made the lottery for the Aramco Houston Half Marathon.

Nervous.

I've finished a half before, so no worries on that score (other than getting back into longer distances again). I'm a little worried about time cut-offs. According to the registration, I'm going to have to keep up a 13:46 pace through 9 miles at least.

This means that I'm going to need to fold in some interval training again. I know I will do better as well if I do some weight training and lose some poundage. I don't need to really start working hard until September or October, but I'd like to get back into the general flow again (fast run, long run, intervals).

In the meantime, I'm going to see how much of Zombies, Run! I can complete before the end of August.* I turned on the chases again this morning; while I evaded the zoms each time, the sprinting took a lot out of me. I ended up walking a lot more than I intended. I'm reminding myself that, hey, it's summer. It's hot!

I also have to figure out what to wear. I'd like a change from the WW costume, but it is a brand and this is a big race. Thankfully, I have time to figure it out.

* I had a whole blog entry on my head canon, but that seemed too weird even for me. 

Where Do We Go from Here

I thought this was the end.

With Facebook's new page policies, I'm not getting much exposure unless I want to pay for it. I started seeing this as an opportunity to let this project die a natural death. I've accepted that running is now part of my landscape. Getting out to log 2-3 miles at least three times a week is part of the schedule. I don't think about it--I just go. I think that I've finally accepted that I'm about as fast as I'm going to get. Until I get older and/or large portions of the population die off, I'm not going to be up for an age award any time soon. Finishing has to be the thing I focus on.

I still love the costume thing, but I'm finding a need for that less and less. I was going to do a super cute unicorn for the Awesome 80s Run, but that was cancelled due to lack of participation. I'll still do the WW thing from time, but I don't need it all the time now. (I do want to go cute, though. And wear tutus.)

For the sake of our budget, I've been cutting back on races. I did a 10K in February and a 5K in April, but I have to admit that I'm disappointed in my performance for each. The 5K I did in May, however, was really, really fun in terms of extras, and my performance was ... acceptable. I've tossed my hat in the Houston Half Marathon lottery; if I don't get picked, I'll volunteer again. 

Looks like this is the end, right?

Except ...

Except that I'm finishing Season 1 of Zombies, Run! and am probably going to dive headfirst into Seasons 2 and 3. Instead of binge-watching, I'm binge-running for the story (and to build my base). I want a place to share my head cannon.

Except that Enell is starting an Ambassador Program. I would have never started running--never even considered it possible--had it not been for this sports bra. I already sing their praises as much as I can; to do it officially would be an honor!

Except that I like the discipline of writing. Except I like a space to discuss the geek approach to fitness and body-acceptance. Except that I've met amazing soul friends because of this blog. Except that, for unknown reasons, people have started running because this overweight, fortysomething she-nerd gets up, suits up, and goes.

I really did think this was the end.

For a girl who reads comic books, I really should know better.

Wheaton's Law: Don't Be a Dick

It can never be said enough: Love what you love in the way that you love it.

Corollary: If someone loves what you love in a different way, that does not mean that the way they love it is wrong. It is different. Please remember that ultimately you are loving the same thing. You are not the Gatekeeper.

Let's talk about running in tutus ... or costumes for that matter. Yes, I did see the article about Self's making fun of the runner in a tutu ... who just happened to be a cancer survivor.

I've said over and over that cosrunning--running in costume--is a major motivator for me. It gives me a reason to sign up for races, not to mention get up in the morning to train for those races. I am well aware that to some Gatekeepers this is not a good enough reason. Hell, according to some Gatekeepers, I have no business running to begin with--after all, I didn't start running until my 40s, I'm still 60 lbs overweight, and I can't maintain a 10 minute mile. The fact that I have "only" finished a half (oh, not run the whole thing) is still not proof enough. According to these Gatekeepers, I am not a runner.

Screw you, Gatekeepers. I love running, and running in costume is the way that I love it.

Here's the weird part: when I'm wearing said-costume, I consistently receive support and cheers from onlookers--including (and especially) children, whose obesity epidemic you are supposedly fighting.* And, despite my age and my size and my lack of speed (or maybe because of it), my consistency--my love--has gotten others to start running too.

Isn't the goal to have others love the Thing, no matter what their path?

 In an effort to be fair, I read the article where the editor offered an apology ... for making fun of someone who had cancer. Just to clarify: the editor was sorry for making fun of the wrong person, not for the tutus.

I was never a fan of Self to begin with. I got a copy in a running swap, and it seemed like the focus--in pictures, if not in words--was that one must always be young and skinny rather than strong and healthy no matter where you are in your journey. Just so I don't eat my own words--if this motivates you, fine. This kind of "fitsperation" just doesn't work for me. The judgey-ness and half-hearted apologies only seems to emphasize my distaste.

I contemplated writing a letter; but since I'm obviously not their audience, I figured it would fall on deaf ears. I admit to a certain amount of schadenfreude when seeing the blast on Self's Facebook page. I guess you don't piss off women in tutus--we're already too much in Princess Mode to put up with this kind of crap.

What I would write is simply this:

Dear Self-Proclaimed Gatekeepers, 

I am a runner in a superhero costume. Deal or die. 

Frack you very much,
Chunky Wonder Woman

* I guess if they are running around playing and loving what they are doing rather than an organized sport, that's not the "right way" either.

Still Struggling (But Never Stopping)

I haven't enjoyed running lately. I've been dreading the training and been finding reasons not to go. I wish I could find solid reasons for this slump. The weather has been warming, but I've been fighting allergies. I've taken some vacation time which has been refreshing and tiring in its own way. But if I stay still too long, the Black Dog comes close.

I did a few things that are hopefully in the right direction. Firstly, I ditched the sub-65 10K training. I wasn't making the intervals for the bulk of the tempo runs. I couldn't work out the schedules at all. Rather than keep feeling bad, I decided to stop altogether. The constant failure wasn't doing my mental state any good.

Secondly, I started up doing Zombies, Run! again. By including the zombie chases, I get the speed intervals I've actually been enjoying. I have to watch my pace, though; I have to figure out how fast I have to go to outpace the Walkers but still retain the energy to keep running. I'm discovering that the chases are random; sometimes they even show up when I'm warming up or cooling down, so I have to be prepared at all times. It's part of the brain work that I need.

The final thing I've done for myself is to sign myself up for another race. There is a half marathon and a 5K option. I was going to do the half, but there is a 3 1/2 hour time limit. I did my last half in a little over 3 hours, and that's cutting it a bit close. Even if I don't DFL, chances are the bulk of the champagne will be gone. With the 5K, I have an hour to finish (easy-peasy), and I still get the tech shirt, the boa, the tiara, the champagne, and a medal (smaller, but a medal nonetheless). Since I'm taking the shorter route, I'm going for a PR--dare I try sub 40 minutes?

My new training plan is as follows:

• Sunday - Long run, defined as a leisurely 4-5 miles so the 5K seems like a "short run." Done while listening to On Being for an extra piece of peace.
• Monday - Cross-train (yoga, belly-dancing, something)
• Tuesday - Zombie Run
• Wednesday - Cross-train
• Thursday - Tempo run, only about 3 miles, while listening to NPR
• Friday - Cross-train
• Saturday - Rest

I feel like a weenie reverting back to 3 mile runs, but right now that seems to be what best fits my schedule and my temperament.  I do want to do another half this year. For now, however, I want to find my joy again. Or at least a reason to move forward.

When the Black Dog Comes

This is another one of those posts that I keep trying to write ...

There is no Blerch these days, only Black Dog. Issues that I thought were settled have shown up to punch me in the stomach and send me spiraling. I have mostly felt like sleeping, eating crap, and playing games on my phone.


 Let's pull out the explanations/excuses:

• The weather has been SO COLD. Which doesn't account for those people I know who run in the snow, and the fact that the weather has been changing.
• I've had some changes in my job--good ones, mind you, but some definite challenges.
• Insomnia is now new and improved with hot flashes and anxiety dreams.
• My training schedule is difficult to keep up, especially on the weekends. I have yet to finish a week as written.

I am, however, still running at least three to four times a week. I've been trying to take a calcium-magnesium vitamin, as suggested by my doctor. I'm seeing a little bit of improvement in my "easy pace." But my enthusiasm is waning.

I just don't feel like running. Or doing much of anything.

I just
want
to
sit
and do
               nothing.

My Belladonna. She is a good girl.

I know there are ways to break myself out of it. Race dates help (although I'm trying to cut back for the sake of our budget). So do running groups (which means getting the energy to push back social anxiety).

I'm hoping this is a season. It is getting warmer. And I have a race next week that I will be doing with some friends. I still haven't committed to the half in April, but I've at least got a fun 5K scheduled.

I've been thinking about starting a mood afghan as a way of seeing if there are patterns, as well as channel some of this into something creative.

But I'm not going to stop.

Please don't let me stop.

Vlog Up! Choosing Your Birthday Suit

Rainy, cold, icky morning here. I opted to go to the Y to use the dreadmill, which became a horror in itself with figuring out the technology (and realizing too late that it didn't allow for sessions over an hour).

But I finished another vlog! In this episode, I answer a question that was posed on what to wear for a race on your birthday.

I'm also starting a challenge--post pictures of yourself on my Facebook page or on Instagram with #birthdaysuit and tag me - @chunkywonderwoman

By the way, I'm also inviting you to follow me on Instagram. You will, however, have to put up with many crafting/doglie/girlie pics as well as some running stuff.